A Swing And A Miss

Crystal Skull the last gasp for Indiana Jones franchise?

Film in Focus
By Michael the K

There was a time when the opening of the film was a great event. There would be lots of publicity, long advance of the premiere and a state of excitement would be generated by the film going public. When the event finally came, the audience would religiously attend the opening with an enthusiastic fervor. The curtains would open (no curtains today, as we are not given the protocol that the theater once displayed) and the film would begin. Immediately from the first moment we would be drawn into another world, the fantasy world only film could bring.

With this hope of once again experiencing the phenomena, I drove down to the Broadway Theater on Tuesday night to buy my ticket for the midnight Wednesday premiere of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. I remember attending the opening of the original Jones, Raiders of the Lost Ark, at the Regency I Theater in San Francisco. Wow, what a wonder it was! Closely following the phenomenon of Star Wars and starring Harrison Ford, the film took us back to the old days of being swept away into the drama and immersed in worlds we could only imagine.

This night, I was surrounded by people who emulated Indiana Jones, dressed in leather jackets and a big game hunters’ hat, waiting for the film to begin. At 12:10, after 30 minutes of visuals and trivia that were projected on the screen (they were so low-quality as to blur my vision), the lights dimmed and the show began. Replacing the curtain opening, three commercials appeared, one for Coca Cola, one for Verizon, and the other I don’t even remember. What’s this, I thought to myself, I could see this at home on TV. After they ruined the atmosphere, the familiar THX demo filled the screen, to the audience’s approval and cheers. I myself thought that even this had gone downhill over the ones in the past, which were so much more dramatic. Several trailers of new films followed, including Hancock and other films I hadn’t much interest in. Only the teaser for Get Smart held any interest, hopefully it will do justice for the old TV show which reigned supreme in the 60s.

Now on to the main event, with the title of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull blazing across the screen. As the film started, the first thing that hit me was: Wow, how grainy and badly lit the scenes were! Was I so jaded by my home theater system that the movie’s full theatric presentation pales in comparison?

That aside, I concentrated on the film. Harrison Ford appeared in a lackluster entrance, and Russians replaced the Nazi villains of old. I harrumphed. Cate Blanchett appeared in a black wig that almost disguised her from recognition. The ending scene of the original film was paid homage to at this point, as they rummaged through the government storage hanger of dark secrets. Even the Arc of the Covenant was visible in a flashback.

Without wanting to give the plot away too much, I will vaguely give away my likes and dislikes. Indy winds up in an atom bomb test site, where he escapes death via a lead-lined refrigerator. Come on, George Lucas (the Executive Producer), is he now Superman?

It went on and on with these impossible fight scenes featuring the cast escaping machine gun fire, which would have slain a herd of elephants, if not dinosaurs. Movies have become a video game, it seems. Do they think people will believe everything they see? I guess I’ve been around too long and seen too many films with great story lines and amazing follow-throughs to be sucked into this cartoon-like execution.

It seems George Lucas once again drew from scenes in films of old to give this storyline life. The ant scenes reflect The Naked Jungle, the sand-evolving pyramids, The Land of the Pharohs, the underground pyramid much like Journey to the Center of the Earth, etc. This is similar to the pod race in Star Wars: The Phantom Menace which cloned the chariot race in Ben Hur. I don’t mind the use of these ideas, but I’d like to see some new once thrown in to balance it all out.

Harrison Ford looked haggard and played the role in a sarcastic manner. Gone was the funny and amusing Indiana of old. John Hurt, a fabulous actor, was lost in the mediocre screenplay, and Shia LeBeouf played his role to the hilt, even if, at times, he verged on Superboy. Karen Allen, reprising her role as Marianne, the lost love of Indiana from Raiders, was a breath of fresh air and brought some realism to the script. Kudos, Ms. Allen, we missed you!

Even the real story of the crystal skulls (discovered by Mitchell Hedges, a model of Indiana) was twisted a bit too much for my taste. It was also some Spielburg nonsense about prairie dogs and monkeys you can form your own judgments of.

To sum it all up, it was not the best of all. In fact, Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was 4th of the four-part series so far. Supposedly there is a fifth installment in the works for the year 2012. I thought this chapter might be a set-up for the fifth one, but the idea was disguised, if there at all. The audience seemed to like it, and much applause was heard during the credits. I think Lucas and Spielburg have long lost their touch with the audiences, and they’re lucky to have the following of die-hard fans who will continue to keep this cult alive.